Amaka Crawford is haaaaawt, yes, emphasis intended! She’s the reason why this 🔥 emoji exists. Her twerk game is on fleek! She even has the biggest baddest gangsta on IG- @YtodaA – catching feels. But lately, something’s been terribly wrong. Now that Amaka’s done with school and back under her dad’s roof, she doesn’t have the freedom that she used to. Those early morning selfies with the Amaro filter just don’t pop anymore. There are no more hotel rooms, restaurant tables and snap chat videos with friends at the beach. Half of her online fan base is ghosting her. What’s a girl finna do? She wonders.
Pull the neckline of her V-Neck top down a little lower? Cos you see, on social media, more is always more. More skin means more likes. So one cold Friday evening while her parents weren’t home, Amaka stood before the mirror peeling off one item of clothing after the other. Staring at her half-clad bod in the mirror she smirked: ‘yeah, I still got it’. She thought about taking off her brassiere but ‘Neh, let’s just save that for no bra day’. She angled her phone’s camera just right, clicked and there it was, her next IG post. About five seconds after she put it up, @YtodaA liked it! She squealed in joy.
Yemi was upset! He double tapped Amakas picture by mistake. He had recently gotten into trouble with cultists on campus because he was always posting on IG with axes and skulls. So he left school and decided he’d keep a low profile online, and maybe they’d forget him eventually. But now, he just liked the picture of one of his school’s most popular alumnus. He didn’t even look at the picture sef. His finger just slipped. Taking a closer look at the picture, Yemi hissed. ‘See this okpo, with her chest like panla.’
Amaka wasn’t satisfied. Liking her picture was one thing, but commenting would mean that Yemi really dug it. A like and a comment are the difference between a handshake and a hug in real life. Everybody shakes hands, but the comment truly imitates an embrace. So why wasn’t @YtodaA embracing her? She decided to break one of the Slay Queen cardinal rules, and be the first to slide into his DM.
“Hey boo.” Amaka typed.
Yemi saw the message. It was private so he had no fear of being caught.
“Wot dyu want Amaka?” He replied.
Amaka was taken aback. Maybe he was just fronting. She knew how to fix that.
“Just lying here, on my bed, thinking of you 😉” She typed.
Yemi couldn’t help but smile. These girls were so typical.
“Aww. Send me a pic. But lose the covers, and clothes.” He replied.
Amaka rolled her eyes. Even online boys couldn’t understand the essence of foreplay. She thought about his request but then heard her parents driving in.
“Calm down oga.”
“If you really want to see me so badly, I can come over next week.” Amaka typed.
“To which house? You want my parents to kill me?” Yemi replied.
Hmm. Amaka thought to herself. She always figured Yemi would have his own crib. Anyways, she wasn’t that shallow. A lot of 26 year old guys still stayed with their folks. It was no biggie.
Yemi could see she had read the chat. So why was she taking so long to respond? Maybe he shouldn’t have said he still lived with his parents. But abegi, he wasn’t in the mood for any long tin. Finally, Amaka started typing.
“Alright fine then, where can we see?”
“I can’t even see you next week. I’m planning to resume school.” Yemi replied.
“School, as in? You’ve started your masters? That’s so cool.” Amaka typed.
“No, ode. School, as in school, I’m in 300 level remember?” Yemi replied.
Amaka remembered no such thing. All she knew was that she saw a picture of Yemi with guys in an older set. She cyberstalked him on Facebook and found out he was three years older than her. She had just assumed he was done with school like she was. And the stupid junior had been insulting her this entire time. Imagine. She typed furiously.
“OMG. You’re not even on my level.”
“If by that you mean I’m not public property, you’re absolutely right.”
“I’m blocking u” Amaka typed furiously.
“Y” Yemi asked.
“Because I can’t waste my time with a jobless human being!” Amaka typed.
“before nko, who do you think is liking your picture on IG? Jobless people like me with nothing better to do. I mean, let’s be honest you’re a book with a beautiful cover, but I’m pretty sure you’re all blank pages.” Yemi replied.
“Oya no vex. I’m sure there are a few business execs that follow you. They can probs afford a night or two at Sheraton. So I guess we’re not all jobless.’
“I’m not a slut!”
“Na small garri dey make eba”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s only a matter of time, sweetheart”
“You’re a jerk.”
“I’m blocking you now”
“You don’t love me.”
“Of course not honey, I ain’t no Jesus”
Amaka blocked him but his last words lingered, like the dull aches of surgery. Yemi, and all the others like him, didn’t love her, not truly. But God does and there was no need to go on being a bird with wings clipped by an IG filter and caged by a snapchat frame. She could be free from the eyeballs, and give herself to a Savior that carries her picture in His wallet. A Savior who only ever looks at her, with his heart.