F you! F you again, and F you one more time! Do you feel insulted? Why? F is just the 6th letter of the alphabet, and as the Tiwa/Wizkid issue shows, things aren’t always what they seem.
Right now, you have a handful of haters, a WhatsApp list of snobs and a bees nest of stinging words that still hurt. But what if those haters are actually just constructive critics? What if those snobs are too busy to even chat with themselves, and what if that bees nest of stinging words is actually just a hive full of honey?
It’s become human nature and the Naija way to just assume the worst. That’s why a Tiwa Savage would release a song that’s most likely dissing her ex-husband, and the Twitter train will immediately believe the track is dissing Wizkid. The diva had to take time off her diva schedule to clear the air, but many are still unconvinced, because everyday life tastes bland, and nothing pleases our taste buds more than beef. We may not enjoy conflict, but we certainly find it entertaining. We love to raise our voices in hate, and…wait, wait, sounds like we’re preaching, sorry. Put simply, we sorta like dislike.
It’s a phenomenon Andrew Wommack calls ‘speculative reasoning’. Your coursemate didn’t greet you back this morning when you greeted her. You start to wonder why. You dredge up a memory from last week, where you refused to loan her your notebook because you wanted to read that weekend. You surmise that she must be upset about that. It annoys you. Why would she diss you like that? On top your own note again, ha, na wa. You don’t know it, but you’ve just hypothesized based on negative thought patterns. And it doesn’t take a science student to tell you that hypothesis isn’t fact. Sure, sure, you’re as intelligent and observant as Sherlock Holmes, but then again you’ve been known to be as wrong as a stranger meeting Bobrisky for the first time when asked about his gender. The fact is: you don’t know. Your friend might have family issues she’s deep in thought about. She might have recently developed a hearing impairment. It sounds ridiculous, but you won’t know for sure until you ask her.
Guys, you know how these girls can be with mixed signals. By the time you’ve gotten your heart broken a couple of times, you’ll learn that “Hey, can we hang today?” is not the same as “I’d like for us to date”. And babe, you know these guys say one thing and do something else entirely. So are you really going to assume things, especially things that affect you negatively emotionally, when you don’t have a full picture of what’s really going on?
Just last week, a lot of your favourite IG pages posted a meme about a girl posing in what was clearly a Nigerian street with the caption “London filter at last”. On those posts were thousands of comments of people laughing at the girl for “forming” that she’s abroad when there’s a Keke parked right at the side of the road. What these commenters didn’t realize is that “London filter” is an IG filter, and it had finally been made available to her. They were assuming that the girl was being pretentious, and they were very wrong. How many “London filters” are you using to judge people today? How many people aren’t you speaking to, based on things that you assumed? How many times have you been sad about things you later found to be untrue?
God hasn’t given you the spirit of bondage again to fear, and insecurity and assumptions, but of power and of love and of sound mind. You have the power to uncover the truth, the love to always see the best in people and the soundness of mind to not be sheeple herded along by the brainless shepherd called assumption. In this era of #fakenews, discernment is as important as ever.
Now that you’ve read these things. Get the F out of here. By F we mean facts, get the facts out of here.
We’re daring you to take part in the F-you challenge: the Facts-you challenge. It goes like this – post a fact about yourself, a fact that goes against popular opinion about you. For instance, maybe people think you’re shy, but the fact is it just takes you a little longer to get used to people before you can really let your wild side show. When you’re done with your F-you challenge, tag three of your friends to do same, and they, in turn, must do same.
In the end, you’ll be surprised to see how many things you’ve got wrong about the people you think you know, and in the end, maybe we’ll all learn to do less speculative reasoning and get our facts straight because God is never the author of falsehoods. Go ahead. Start the Facts about your “F-you” challenge now.