“I’m not you!” Your friend shouts. You’ve just given her a piece of advice, one based on a universal truth. Perhaps you’ve asked her to turn the other cheek, or to save more and spend less, or to quit her relationship with a ‘Yoruba demon’. But even though she admits that what you’ve said is well and true, she insists that she can’t do it. Because it just doesn’t line up with her temperament and uniqueness as a person. These days good counsel has sadly become designer clothing, one size never fits all.
People have taken the Bible backed idea that “we are all unique and different from one another” and mixed it up with some other well-meaning but ultimately false ideologies. People take their individuality too far. They do not realize that “being unique” is not the same as “doing/acting unique”. We are human beings, not doings. So, while it is true that you can “be” different it doesn’t mean you have to “do” different. At every point in time, you have total control of your actions, behaviours and attitudes. Joyce Meyer gives a splendid example in her book “The Secret to True Happiness”. She speaks of someone who claims to be unable to go without ice cream. She says that if you advise the person to quit it, they’ll probably say “no can do, that’s just the way I am”. But if you held a gun to the same person’s head and say you would shoot if they lick the ice cream, then suddenly they become Buddhist masters with enough strength of will to not lick the ice cream. People think that the Bible asks us to deny ourselves, but it only asks us to be ourselves. Your idea of “self” is the source of conflict.
I’m sure you have that “patient friend” that’s just naturally longsuffering. You have that “wild friend” that likes to do crazy things. It’s just the way they are right? Wrong. This misconception stems from the fact that many do not realize we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We are not our souls. We are not a collection of memories, knowledge and personality traits. We are spirit. In the born-again experience, it is the spirit that is immediately saved (because it is what matters most/who we are). The soul which is secondary is being saved (through the renewal of the mind, it is in the process) whilst the body will be saved on the day Christ returns and reveals our true selves.
So, your anxiety, bipolar disorder or split personality disorder don’t have to rule you. Neither does your zodiac sign, temperament or the latest personality test. Perhaps these things give you a glimpse of your default settings. But God hasn’t called you to a life of defaults, he expects you to dig in deep into the Operation System of who you are and act according to HIS idea of who you are. The Spirit is hardware, it’s why we’re all different, it’s why identical twins can be so different, one good with words and the other good with numbers. Hardware doesn’t change, but it’s always good because “you are fearfully and wonderfully made”. Software, however, is everything else, it is your moods and feelings, and hobbies and talents. These things can change according to the softwares you choose to install. Every imperfection is just a glitch in the system. Say for instance that alcoholism keeps popping up in your life like an annoying advertisement, you don’t say “Oh that’s just the way I am”. No! You install Ad Block and shut down all those Ads. You can’t deny your hardware, but you can deny your software. And yes, boys and girls, that means your sexuality too. “Born this way” is pretty, but you were also born sucking your thumb, and somehow with practice, you outgrew that, so you can outgrow being gay too.
Now don’t get me wrong, yes there are times where what is good for one person may be bad for the other, that’s why God says whatever is not done in faith is a sin. That means for instance that wherever you stand in the “Compulsory to Tithe or Not Compulsory to Tithe” argument if your tithing is not in faith and you only do it because Pastor said so, it is sin. So, truth is not static, it is dynamic, God’s word never changes, but your interpretation of it does. The revelation you got today from a scripture, doesn’t mean it wasn’t the same scripture you read yesterday. So, you need the Holy Spirit to give you the right revelations that line up with faith and not your own selfish desires.
Some people walk through hard times like tough Timberlands, whilst others fall apart like those cheap shoes. Stop buying lies! Like the “fufu” phones computer village boys sometimes trick buyers into getting. Time magazine once described millennials as the “Me” generation. It’s true, but the problem is how would you know what “me” is if you don’t know who you are. This you that you claim is you, is really just an undiscerning collection of attitudes and traits. But the sea is not the garbage that it picks up at the shore, the sea is the sea, and only God can tell you what the sea is. It is the same with you, you are more than the habits you’ve picked up along your journey in life, your idea of you should come not from what you do, but from who God says you are. Most telling is that you are a god, and guess what gods don’t conform to their environment, environments conform to gods. #StayWoke