Jade and Jude’s story was straight out of a high school movie – campus bad boy falls for pretty good girl. After years of playing hard-to-get, she gives him a chance and ta da!…wedding bells. They started out very happy; love birds that went almost everywhere together. It felt a little awkward, but we all got used to it. Wherever Jude was, Jade was sure to follow. This attitude was not a coincidence, Jade had a philosophy about men, stemming from her parents’ divorce – all men cheat! And she was determined to put Jude on a short leash to ensure he did not.
When she got pregnant with their first child and couldn’t go everywhere with him, her insecurities became amplified. She would call and text every 10 minutes, just to be sure he was on the ‘straight and narrow’. This development was intriguing to Jude, because he thought she was just being caring; until it became downright annoying! She would call and ask to speak to whoever he was with, as proof that he was saying the truth.
After delivery, it became worse; anytime he came home late, she would scream and call him names. One name became a recurring title ‘Cheat’. She would check his phones, pockets and car in search of evidence. Jude was hurt, because he took his vows seriously; and was trying hard to leave his bad-boy days behind. He was angry ‘cause she had no idea how much temptation he walked away from everyday; only to come home to accusations.
Jade seemed to find creative ways to conjure evidence and accuse Jude of cheating; you smell different, your shirt is untucked, your sleeves are rolled up, the phone rang a few times before you picked it. Suddenly Jude’s home heaven had turned to hell; he dreaded going home, and started hanging out late with his friends. He would spend a lot of time on his phone/laptop to avoid conversations with Jade.
Before long, they became complete strangers and Jude began to confide in his female colleague, in a bid to understand and escape Jade’s tantrums. She offered advise, then sympathy and then solace. By the time Jade was able to bring herself to tell us what was going on; Jude had already threatened to leave. He said since she had concluded he was cheating – he might as well indulge.
My Pastor once said that ‘creativity is neither good nor bad’. It simply depends on your source of influence and your sense of purpose. What if we choose to be deliberate about channelling our creativity? What if, instead of speaking negative words into our circumstances and creating chaos, we choose to use that creative power to speak life, like God did in Genesis?
Dear lady, call it ‘the law of attraction’ or ‘faith’ – use words, like you would use permanent markers, you can either make a mess or create art – it’s totally up to you.