‘Yeye dey smell’, said a frustrated Kate to herself. She was tired of not knowing who to trust in the web of friends and family. In the last 3 months, she had been betrayed in more ways than one. Her secrets were not safe anymore. If it wasn’t Rita telling Kate what Kate had confided in Yvonne, it was Yvonne gossiping about her lack of ‘progress’. There was no one she could share her worries or plans with, without being judged or looked down upon.
‘Babes are not smiling these days’, she thought. It’s a crabby world of selfies, insta likes and eyebrows on fleek. Where can she find women who are honest, encouraging and selfless? Friends that look out for and cheer on your growth?
Kate is not alone. Women need other women in their corner – a go-to, a bestie, a squad you can count on. Interestingly, girlfriends are not uncommon. People gather around you for different reasons, you need to be sensitive.
First, carefully pick one or two ladies you admire and feel a true connection with. Then sow the seed of genuine friendship. The good Book says ‘to gain a friend, you must first show yourself friendly’. Reach out to them and set the agenda straight.
Be open in your desire for depth, accountability and joyful intimacy in friendship. They must also agree to this.
Commit to weekly check-ins (physical or virtual) where you mutually discuss plans, actions and emotions. Seek to help, advise and encourage without judgement. Give tough love, where appropriate.
Remember to keep each other’s trust. Confidentiality is very important in friendship, except it’s life-threatening. Defend your friend in public, but in private, correct in love. Don’t pull down to make yourself look good.
You are both (or all) unique in your own ways. Give each other the permission to shine together!
Friendship can be long-term producing deep and intense benefits – there’s a friend that sticks closer than a sister. So go ahead, reach out to someone today and be a friend in need. Let’s make the world a better place.