Tina and I got talking, it turned to a heated discussion as other ladies joined the conversation. It was not the usual she-said he-said, no. It was not also about love or work place equality, no. it was about how men treated us. Funny how it all turned as we had a divided house. Some in support, others disagreeing. Maybe you will be able to tell us more, I mean which side will you take and why? The question? Wait for it; don’t let me just jump in.
It started out as a cry for help from Yetty. Her man stormed out on her last night and didn’t come back home. She suspected he was cheating and went through his phone. She found pointers to numerous girlfriends. The first thing Tina did was lash out at Yetty for going through the phone at all. ‘Good for you, you got what you were looking for. Why will you go through a man’s phone, husband or not? At least this will teach you a lesson to keep off his business.
I was taken aback and confronted her. ‘How can you support such? Don’t you know there should be no secrets between a man and his wife? His is hers and vice versa so she can pick up his phone (not to snoop) and play with it’.
Tina, also married stood up to me, totally against it. ‘It’s a man’s world’ she spat out. ‘Maybe you have not noticed. If you like, don’t let him be. You will be sending him into the hands of another woman’. Tina told me it was ok for a man to cheat. Ok for a man to keep late nights. She supported one-night stands. Her argument was that ‘she is going to give it up anyway so why wait’? It’s not the 60s you know.
I was baffled. No wonder men do not respect us anymore. If more ladies go about with such mindsets then why do we bother about equality, respect and even, LOVE? Why do we fight men when we are the problem? We do not respect each other nor ourselves when we stand in support of a cheating man, one-night stands and nudity that promotes promiscuity. Your body is the Lord’s temple not just yours, you know!
Let’s roll back a lil. Last week, I stumbled into Darren teaching his daughter how to change a tire and it reminded me of Kitan, who refused her boys from doing any home chores, leaving it all to her only daughter. If we do not teach our young men how to respect their sisters, they won’t grow to respect a woman except by divine intervention. As women, we owe it to our men to teach and preach what is right. We deserve respect, we deserve open doors and drawn seats and we can only get it if we display some worth. A booty call does not make you a powerful woman, neither does letting your man cheat.
Cheating causes a lot of problems and I have seen, first hand, a man pass HIV/AIDs to his wife due to a promiscuous life and children suffer this. We can not close our eyes to the problem nor pray it away and expect that they treat us better. We must build respect, not demand it but earn it and we will earn it by first respecting ourselves and then each other. Not to condemn a sister but understand her plight then advise accordingly.
Train up children to respect themselves and the ladies in their life whether it’s a girl or a boy. It is high time we differentiate between what is right and what is not as our lives depend on these.
Do you share the same view? If yes or nay, let’s hear your thoughts especially as it concerns being a virtuous woman.