Sophia or Miss Bree as her friends fondly called her (Like Bree from the series desperate housewives) always did everything to the Tee. She carried herself well and was very detailed. She was “Little Miss Perfect”. Nothing can ever go wrong, not if she planned it. Nothing she did was ever given to chance, not even love.
She would marry at the right age of 25, she knew the kind of man she wanted to marry. He had to be tall, dark, rich and handsome just like Idris Elba. They would live in a beautiful home and have two lovely children and they would live happily ever after.
Sophia would lay in bed and fantasize for hours about her wedding. Her wedding dress would be like Cinderella’s, her cake would be from the best caterer and the decorations would be perfect. Even Bella Naija would cover it. All these things were detailed in her diary. She strongly believed in planning. She was very confident everything would work out just the way she planned it.
Fast forward 15 years later, she got married at the age of 30 to a man she loves, but he isn’t anything close to Idris Elba – looks and bank account, but she loves him like kilode! Her fairytale wedding? Well, nothing went as planned – her cake got ruined, her dress didn’t fit the way she wanted and her caterers didn’t even show up on time.
She remembered crying that day and being angry at everyone and everything! She remembered her mom telling her all was going to be fine and she should look on the bright side and enjoy the day. “Wedding is just a day’s event” she said, “but you have a lifetime to build fond memories”.
It’s been 5 years and they had been trying to have children, the doctors kept saying nothing was wrong with her, they tried many things to no avail. Her husband was a kind and loving man, and never stopped reassuring her; but, she felt in her heart that he was no longer there. He didn’t look at her the same way, the late nights were getting longer. She couldn’t blame him.
Her friends thought she was living her dream, if only they knew the countless times she cried herself to sleep, how depressed she was. Her smiles and laughter were nothing but a facade to avoid questions and not let anyone see the pain and emptiness she felt inside. To her, all her friends had children and they all seemed happy in their marriages, besides her. She prayed, she fasted she believed, but she was done with all of that! “It’s not working!!” She lamented to no one in particular.
She could swear her mother in-law hated her and that her friends also snicker behind her when she wasn’t looking. She was frustrated, depressed and sad. It’s not the life she had imagined, this isn’t picture perfect.
Like Sophia, we’ve wished and wanted things that we felt ‘it’s not too much to ask for’ right? We want to have it all- love so deep, that overwhelming passion between a man and a woman. A happy home, perfect children and an happily ever after life. More often than not, we forget God’s plan and how his plans for us supercedes ours. Remember the story of Sarah in the Bible? She was a flawed woman loved by a flawless God. She was impatient and this resulted in poor decisions. As Sarah’s story shows, it is not by our strength or the amount of planning and thought we put into our lives. Only God can work in us, through our faith and produce miraculous influence in our personal, extended relationships and generations to come.