Who’s a perfect Mom? Please comment below, so we can applaud you!
Why beat yourself up because you can’t seem to get her ponytail right? Who says Mary is better than you, just cause she bakes every weekend for her children? Why do you think that you’re the worst Mother on earth because you failed to see your child jump when he did and break his arm?
We all have moments of Mom Guilt. Thinking: how could she look so beautiful with 4 children between the ages of 3 and 9. You think she has always had her hair that snatched? Have you been to her house to find out if she works alone or with a handful of support staff?
We envy other Moms without walking in their shoes and sometimes, our envy gets the best of us. We start to worry, panic, blame ourselves, look down on our abilities and worst of all, we start to resent our children and husbands.
This can result in depression as we feel we can never get it right. We can never keep a beautiful home like Sade; sew nice clothes for our family like Aisha; can’t perfectly juggle work and motherhood like Uche, or raise brilliant children like Orode. We then start to coil into our imaginary shells or even resign our jobs to stay home and try and be ‘better’. Instead, we lock ourselves away in our rooms, dark and sober, not wanting to see anyone, not even our children.
Depression is real amongst mothers and most times, it starts with Mom Guilt. We must be able to identify the symptoms so we can get help fast.
We should also try the following to help prevent us from falling into Mom Guilt
- Not bother when our baby or children are slow to meet the conventional development ‘milestones’
- Not comparing ourselves to other Moms
- Not compare our baby to other babies or even their siblings
- Do the best we can
- Not be hard on yourself if you fail to live up to unrealistic expectations
- Ask for help when necessary
We also encourage husbands, family and friends to look out for the Mom Guilt symptoms before they become worse and help our loved ones in time.
If you need someone to talk to, to let out the steam or to share your feelings of Mom guilt, we are here to support you, reach out to us. If you know anyone that will need counselling, do send us an email and we will reach out to that Mom – firstname.lastname@example.org
Moms rock, so don’t ever forget that, because you are one!