TEXT: 1 Timothy 6:10
We live in a time distinguished by myriads of sophisticated, stressful, emotion laden and daunting challenges. A larger chunk of our problems is actually emotional. Our forefathers were not stressed as we are nor were they emotionally intelligent as we are. They didn’t need good communication skills either- why? Because they didn’t need to toast a babe/bae. Our ancestors only needed to be good at hunting, farming, have good survival skills and be able to physically provide for a large family. They had fewer roles and responsibilities in raising children. As long as they fulfilled these roles, their wives were content.
But things have changed ever since. Women want more otherwise both man and woman will never be happy together. Men need to do more in this day and age. He is responsible for his woman who has been “designed” to “breed” babies, invest lots of energy to nurture them and make her home. If she works/trades (which she should), she’s still his responsibility and she has emotional needs.
So isn’t a man’s problem really the need for emotional intelligence?
Morever women now want more and more. Guys, of the depth and width of a woman’s needs, may we have divine understanding. To succeed in our relationships today, we must learn new lessons that our forefathers/parents couldn’t teach us. Most of our problems in relationships are different from theirs.
Three issues are known to be the major thorns in marriage/relationships:
- Intimacy (romance or sexual issues)
- Money issues
Our attitude to money did not just begin in marriage. Unfortunately, socio-economic issues brought them to the fore during marriage and now complicate life for us. Money is known to be the second major force after God. Money impacts our emotions in strong ways.
Money is a means of exchange of goods and services, it is important because it takes care of our bills, clothes, food, basic comfort and even luxury. So would you say money is good? (Eccl 10:19; 7:12)
Money has capacity to control happiness in the home, though our happiness should not depend on it because money in itself cannot give happiness, it’s the feeling of having money. Naturally, men are providers. If anything threatens a man’s capacity to provide, it impacts his esteem, emotions, essence of his life, ego etc.
Most men switch to “passive” mode at which point they do little or nothing about everything including taking responsibility, nurturing relationships, passion and drive. We have a responsibility to determine what role money, or anything else for that matter, will play in our relationships.
A man’s true self or sense of identity is and should not be dependent on his cash flow, you should get over this.
To avoid money tensions in our relationships, three basic principles should control our disposition:
- Attitude to money
- Trust in your partner
- Wise planning
Please watch out for continuation of “Our Money Vs Her Money” on #XLiving next week.