Accolades Or Accusations

Today, on #WomanWednesday, Akin will be opening up his heart about his woman. But he doesn’t just ‘TALK’, his faith is one that works!

I was bringing in bags of groceries from the car after a hard long day at work and heard my wife, Anna say, “Oh baby, you’re soooo strong! You’re my superman, I’m so happy I can depend on you.” You can only imagine the decimals to which the cells in my brain multiplied! She always had a way with words, encouraging me, helping me believe the best of myself. It was because of her I even took a shot at the new job. I know I got skills, but didn’t think I was experienced enough for this high level management position.

Anna is not your average babe, I must confess. She sees so much potential in me, sometimes I wonder if we are talking about the same guy. I mess up, many times. I forget to buy something, I neglect a chore. I need to be reminded constantly. Deeper than household errands, I have hurt her in the 4 years of our young marriage and 3 years of dating. I’ve said and done things that are too gruesome to speak of. I have ignored some of her basic needs and done the opposite of ‘love and protect’.

In fact, when I hear the phrase “Akin boo”, I know there is fire on the mountain. But with Anna, I know I don’t have to ‘run, run, run’ because the talk leaves me feeling more empowered than accused. I learn my lessons and move on. For some reason, she hardly nags. She gets visibly angry but doesn’t scream and never extends the conversation past bedtime. Where she gets such self-control, I don’t know but I’m learning from her every day.

You know, come to think of it… I could remain laid back and not strive to improve or deliver on my promises to Anna. It would be easier to just chill and avoid the grit and grime of going through the process. No one would know from the outside, of course we do a great job of keeping up the best appearances. Actually, people are in awe of how green and luscious our ‘grass’ looks from the other side of the fence. So I could get away with one more bad word, a few more accusations, a couple of late nights and family times missed. Anna would understand, wouldn’t she?

But because of the grace she extends to me, I am motivated to do better, to be a greater man, husband and father. Real talk. Her sweet disposition ironically puts fire in my bones so as not to see a frown on her face or tears in her eyes.

Sure we are all wondering who is this wonder-woman Anna and what gold-paved street of heaven did she come from, right? Anna is right inside of every one of us women. She is you and me. We all have the ability to love our partners into action. Rather than belittling, whining, nagging, repeating, complaining about the dirt on our spouses, we must change our perspective. See that they are diamonds, just in need of processing. The process is fueled by extending grace to him – intentional, deliberate and strategic – to grow faith in himself, leading to corresponding works that make a difference in your marriage.

It’s a process though, so please don’t be impatient and uproot the seed prematurely. If you don’t quit, a mind-blowing testimony of ‘faith through grace’ doing pushups at your door. So to all the Annas and Annas-In-Progress out there, have a fantastic #WomanWednesday!

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