Choosing A Spouse

TEXT: Prov. 18:22

Marriage is a ministry of service & responsibility towards God & your spouse/partner with exceeding rewards & benefits. Love is the ideal thing but marriage is the real thing. Marriage is good!

It takes a lot to put a man and a woman together who are truly husband/wife material. We are sometimes not part of that process. We are only bargaining for a finished product.

In choosing a spouse, there are many theories propounded in both church & the secular world. Scripture says “he who finds a wife …” (Prov 18:22). Your choice is not determinable by anyone but you. Even culture should not determine your choice.

Unfortunately, there is no template on how to really choose a spouse in the bible but we can deduce from scripture that you need to:

  1. Know yourself & define your purpose in life: Determine your values in life, your purpose, life time goals & spirituality. These will shape the kind of spouse you’re looking for & your future. No such thing as compatibility.
  2. Pray: This helps the operation of the inner or spiritual eyes (Jer 33:3, Eph 1:16). You need a spouse who will worship your God & not another. A companion who shares your values.
  3. ‘Shine your eyes’: Open your eyes to see & not just look (if you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will you know when you’ve found it?) Relationships are like wrapped gifts. There is a reason why Bible emphasized Sarah’s & Rachel’s beauties.
  4. Focus on character: attitude is everything. Abraham & Sarah lived in Ur, a prosperous city with plenty of artisans, craftsmen, & merchants. So Abraham & Sarah surely had possessions. Sarah had a great attitude, even at 65, you could see in her attitude towards her husband when they needed to relocate.
  5. Prioritize your conviction over your feelings: Don’t fall in love first before praying (Gen 2:23; Rom 8:14,16). Emotions are unstable, pray before you fall in love.
  6. Relate with the people around you: Your spouse is within your reach. (Gen 17:7). He/She is just around the corner. When convinced you’ve found her, get confirmation with your pastor & friends. The pastor does not choose but guides & helps you confirm (Prov 11:14).
  7. Prepare for necessary adjustments: You’ll need change to your programming & mindset in terms of education, ethnicity, race, age, temperament, dressing (1 Peter 3: 1-7). People are not perfect & different dynamics affect our relationships. We have to be flexible to accommodate the dynamics of life.

May our relationships receive the touch of heaven today and marital destinies fulfilled by His power.

1 thought on “Choosing A Spouse”

  1. Uju Izu Onwuteaka

    Great work. I am enlightened by this greatly. Especially the part that say your spouse is with reach….relate with the people around you.

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