Motives For Relationships

TEXT: Genesis 2:8; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Matthew 18:20

Relationship is the way two or more people, groups, countries etc talk to, behave toward & deal with each other (Merriam Webster). Relationship can also be a romantic or sexual friendship between two people or the connection between two or more people.

Four basic types of relationships exist amongst people; Friendship, Family, Romantic and Professional relationships

Everything about our lives have to do with relationships. Many people are in all sorts of relationships for all kinds of reasons (1 Chronicles 4:10) including:

  1. To cure poor/negative self-image or self-esteem issues: Marriage or any other relationship will not make you feel worthwhile or acceptable to your spouse & others, so you must deal with issues of low self-esteem, rejection, and all known hurts before entering into a relationship. You must see yourself in the light of God’s perception of you i.e as fearfully and wonderfully made (Romans 12:2-3)
  2. To become the therapist or counselor to your friends or fiancé: you can’t have a great relationships in this case. You create the impression that you think you’re the better one in the relationship (2 Cor 10:2, Heb 2:14-15)
  3. Fear of being left out because you think you’re getting old: This is caused by social pressure among peers, parents, church, society and friends (Luke 15:11-32)
  4. Desire for independence: Sometimes people want to get out of the control of parents, uncles & siblings because of perceived domination of their lives
  5. Relationship of convenience: This is when you’re in relationship because of what you’re getting or want to get from it
  6. Fear of hurting a friend, acquaintances: Some people marry out of pity or because they don’t want to offend a close friend they’ve dated for years
  7. To escape an unhappy home because someone claims he or she loves you: This may happen especially if one is from a dysfunctional or polygamous background (Psalm 11:3)
  8. Some people marry because their fiancée is pregnant (about a quarter of marriages are as a result of this) or because they’ve had sex and enjoyed the experience so they think they are sexually compatible. Some people marry because they just want to have children for their frustrating mother or granny
  9. Some people marry someone they think can solve all their emotional and presumed needs. Others for perceived easy comfort due to laziness and they want someone to carry their burdens (Romans 8:14)
  10. There’s also what’s called ‘fatal attraction’: they say, the moment I saw him/her, I knew he/she was my spouse.

Notwithstanding the foregoing, we must note that relationships matter and it is not good for man to be alone as God said in Genesis 2:18. There is power and partnership in a relationship for the benefits of all the parties. It’s the foundation of companionship

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