Negative Opinions And You

Look, we’ll be upfront with y’all, some of you have….issues. In a few moments we’re going to say some motivational things and some of you will take it as an excuse to continue doing bad things. Not the kind of bad things apostle will talk about. No, those subtle bad things. Like say for instance we tell you ” You are who God says you are” and you’re like eh hen, it’s true. So you go right on ignoring the fact that a lot of people tell you you’re arrogant, and you should probably look into it and work on it if it’s true. Yes, we know motivational speeches can be good, but never use motivational speeches as an excuse to ignore well-meaning criticism, else you’d be like the plant, using a fully grown tree as shade from the sun and rain.

With that being said, we hope that this makes you feel better and a lot more confident about yourself (better not self-denial, confident not douchey). You matter, and people’s opinion shouldn’t define you. Never seek validation from anyone. There’s only one you in this world, don’t let negativity rule you. Make sure you have a lot of self-love (But don’t let that self-love become narcissism, and yes, it’s a very thin line). Let’s look at the various categories of people you often have to deal with.

Friends

Bestie bestie , but when it comes down to it, it becomes a one-way street. Someone you would go the whole mile for wouldn’t even lift a pin for you, even if you were dying. They constantly talk down on you and when you react they reply with “can’t you take a joke?”

Here’s what you can do;
Walk away. If they are not giving back the same energy you give, drop them. Life’s too short to spend it pleasing people who don’t value you as do to them. Not to mention if you’ve got fire in your bones, the last thing you need is a firefighter, you need people who like to play with matches and often leave the gas cooker on (these are to be taken in very metaphorical terms people).

Workplace Bully
The one that always sees nothing good in anything you do. The fashion police, the one that never lets you finish a sentence in team strategy meetings because he/she thinks you have nothing useful to add (truth is maybe you don’t, but still better to let you say rubbish and be corrected than to mute you altogether).

The one that lives in the mind of the CEO (deputy CEO or HR)and is always telling you how the CEO wouldn’t like what you did or just simply dislikes you for doing your job so well because it exposes their incompetence? (Again, based on an experience they might be right, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust your instinct and go for it, after all, if the CEO was right about everything they wouldn’t need you).

Here’s what you should know; You shouldn’t be bothered by mean people. They will always have their opinion despite what you are capable of.

Taking a closer look, people with the most to say on how you should or shouldn’t live, usually can’t stand it when you give it back to them the same way they dish it. They act the victim and tell everyone how you are mean and how you can’t take a joke and enjoy payback. (And take another look, sometimes you’re also on this table that we’re helping you shake).

But when it comes to other people lives, they become gods. They start and end conversations without listening to what you have to say. They walk around with this air of importance like they are better than everyone else. Avoid such people, it’s usually a waste of time arguing with them because they won’t listen as they are always right.

A wise person once wrote; “Learn to be protective of you and your aura. You have worked too hard on yourself to let someone with dirty feet.” Get it? Worked/Walked.

Or as a great poet puts it;

It’s funny when people try,
To tell you who you are,
rain on a window trickles
rain in a river rushes
rain in the gutter, wastes
rain on the roof, drums
rain in the sky falls
rain on your skin, wets
rain on your skin quenches.
They call you a dozen different verbs,
And you chase after their words.
You are Rain, failing to be.

You must know your worth and value. And even more so, you must value people in return. If you’re being treated like trash, then perhaps that’s because you treat your friends like cockroaches. If you treated your friends like they’re gold Smith’s, then guess what, you in return would probably be treated like gold. In our fast world, we’re all trying to become stars in people’s lives, shallow pretentious stars, fitting in, not driven by difference and impossible to tell from everyone else. Our poet yet again captures this perfectly

THE MOON

If I cannot be the moon then I will be nothing,
If I cannot be the truth then I will be unspoken,
For I’d rather have solitude in darkness than brotherhood in light,
I’d rather die in your recess than perish in your sight.

If I cannot be the moon then I will be nothing,
Not another stick in a broom or strand in cotton,
For I’ve longed for a black fleece and mismatched eyes
I’d let you have me, in anyway but ice.

If I cannot be the moon then I will be nothing
Nothing but a million rusted chains interlocking,
And holding fast to my significance passed,
So that I remain the first, even after the last.

If I cannot be the moon then I will be nothing,
Not another star in your colorful sky,
If I cannot be the moon then I will be nothing,
Nothing to you but a strangers sigh.

After all this is said and done. We don’t want you running around with some misplaced sense of importance. We want you to take yourself seriously (think 2Baba) and not too seriously (think Blackface). There’s usually no smoke without fire, and while people’s negative comments shouldn’t be irreversible death penaltys to your mental health, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a long hard look in the mirror and see for yourself if there’s really fire to all the smoke. You never know, you might discover something and be all the better for it. The Spirit will bring you to all truth so that as Thanos infamously said you will have “all things in perfect balance”.

Finally, Proverbs 18:1 connotes with this writeup “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. When wickedness comes, contempt comes also, and with dishonor comes disgrace. The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook. It is not good to be partial to the wicked or to deprive the righteous of justice. …”

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