Relationship Essentials

Recall those wedding dances that reflect the “Ecstasy of Wedding”?

The wedding is a ceremony & “The Love Dance” is meant to last a lifetime (Ecclesiastes 7:29). Unfortunately, many couples never have this dance again for the rest of their lives. Relationships are instrumental and key in anything we want to achieve in life including career, business, relationship, ministry etc.

Successful relationships require:

  • Flexibility & Consideration (Genesis 6:1-4); our quality of thought directly impacts quality of our relationships
  • Empathy & Compassion (Matthew 9:36; 14:14); relationships are purely emotional transactions. Emotion is involved in all our transactions such as buying, eating, sleeping etc. but we are not robots/machines, our emotions have to be balanced
  • Team Spirit (Amos 3:3); can a relationship work without deliberate effort to make it work by both parties? Every relationship is a partnership of some sort. It must be beneficial to both parties
  • Emotional Intelligence (1 Samuel 18:14); this is your ability to recognize your emotions & those of others, discern between different feelings & behave or respond appropriately (John 4:10). Have self awareness like Jesus who knew who he was.

Knowing ourselves is the very foundation of emotional intelligence.

There are 5 parts to knowing yourself:

  1. Self awareness: Your ability to define yourself & the essence of your life not by your circumstances but by God & his word
  2. Self management: Ability to manage oneself by taking responsibility for ones action, behavior & setting boundaries around oneself
  3. Social awareness: Our ability to respond well & in acceptable ways to different life situations
  4. Social skills & relationship: Social skills are the skills we use to communicate and interact with each other both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language & our personal appearance (1 Samuel 16:18)
  5. Deliberate communication: Communication is conveying oneself verbally & non verbally in a way your friend/spouse understands but may not accept. Our communication is impaired by our prejudices, bias & past experiences (Genesis 12:11-13; 20:2; 12:17)
  6. Understanding (Acts 17:7): seek first to understand people before asking them to understand you

A relationship is not one size fits all. “Don’t ask for my hands if you have not discovered my heart”. Don’t start having your courtship only after your marriage. You have to know & understand each other prior to the marriage. Seek to understand others so that you will be understood. This is wisdom to having fantastic relationships.


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