Relationship Goals or Nah?

“We’re all seeking that special person, that one who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no perfect person, only different flavours of WIPs. Why is this? It could be because you are wrong in some way, and you’ll always seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. It takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own ‘maturity’, and it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your seemingly unsolvable weaknesses or blindspots—the ones that make you truly who you are—that you’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the ‘wrong’ person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the WIP person I want to have.”

(Is this really accurate? Can we all be ‘wrong’ people looking for the right wrong people? Or does ‘Mr Right’ exist somewhere outside my reach?)

Prior to most break-ups, either mutual or non-reciprocal, almost everyone who’s been through at least one breakup would tell you that – they could have sworn that their now ‘Ex’ was the answer to their prayers (or so they thought). So why didn’t it work out? If he or she is what you prayed for, why did either of you give up? Was it the wrong prayer? Or do you blame God for the somewhat ‘mix-up’?
Just asking questions here…

People say, that our generation is the most difficult to love, there are more divorces now than there used to be, some would openly say that marriage is very much overrated today. Not with all the news of your fav couples or #relationshipgoals idols breaking up before you can even tag their one-year anniversary. A lot of chics have this to say concerning the high rates of divorces: ‘women know a lot better now, they have a voice, what our mothers tolerated in silence can’t be tolerated in our time’.
Is this true? Or are we becoming a lot more impatient?

Women, at least, have that much to say. What’s to say for the men? Respect!
Men say most of the time they don’t feel respected. Recent studies have shown men want women who are a lot more submissive and not competitive (the guys can argue otherwise). Could this be the reason why our generation has the highest number of trips to “Heart Break Hotel”?

Let’s take a look at what God has to say about romantic relationships and how to make it work.

The Bible is the greatest life hack! There are answers to everything you seek, God Himself IS Love. It is God who saw that man was lonely and decided to make him a partner. Here’s what the Bible has to say about love.
Ephesians 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
1 Corinthians 16:14: “Do everything in love.”
1 John 4:12: “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

God knew it wouldn’t be easy. Heck! We’re all human, from totally different backgrounds. There’s bound to be some friction, but should love turn into hate? One major factor why relationships end today is more from sheer negligence and indifference than from outright dislike.
I am no relationship expert but one thing I do know and agree with is this: “a great relationship doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue to build that love until the end”.

It takes two to agree, it takes constant deliberate effort to want to make it work. No one likes to feel like they have been cheated and the same applies to relationships. We should learn to compromise and bear for one another. Relationships work when love is mutual.

1 thought on “Relationship Goals or Nah?”

  1. Love is an exceptional quality and it takes a whole lot to love, be loved and able to stay true in love. Every relationship has its own ups and downs, its friction and force, momentum and inertia. For a relationship to be successful, one must be able to turn a blind eye to a lot of stuff done by the other. These are two people from totally different background, most esp if one is a yoruba/igbo and the other is calabar/hausa and vice versa as the case may be. It takes a whole lot of hell to stay together, love can’t do it alone, every other qualities must be involved inasmuch as we know LOVE is the greatest of them all.

    I was talking my teenagers about the difference between the FRUIT of the Spirit and the GIFT of the Spirit. The difference of them all is LOVE. Everyone can fake the Gift of the Spirit but you can’t fake LOVE, you can’t fake PEACE, you can’t fake PATIENCE etc, and for every Gift of the Spirit contains the 9 fruits of the Spirit. And all the fruits are essential for a relationship to stay longer for better. If I have LOVE but no PATIENCE, it doesn’t make sense. So we should seek a healthy relationship through God.

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