Struggles In The Race To Say “I Do”

Simi sat stunned as she saw the ‘to do list’ given to her by the pastor. How far is she willing to go and what else will she be required to do before she finally gets married?

She was just 28 years old when her mother first took her to see the “Man of God”. “Olusho”, as he is popularly called, looked at the pictures of the 3 guys her mother handed to him and put them in the middle of his bible. They were Simi’s suitors at that time. Three days later, she got the news that none of them was suitable for her. Dreams shattered and heart broken, she cried because she felt ready for marriage and was really in love with one of them.

At 30, she had changed church and one of the rules was that you cannot accept any proposal from any brother without the pastor’s consent. So, when a brother showed interest in her and they approached the pastor, he said ‘no’ saying her suitor was not suitable for her. A month later, the pastor finally declared his own intentions! To say she felt betrayed and discouraged was an understatement, mainly because he did not fit the profile of the kind of man she wanted to marry.

At 31 and led by her mom, she was in front of another pastor who had given her a list that was a mile long. Fast for 21 days, stand naked at 12 midnight every Friday and call forth her husband 3 times, desist from eating meat, give alms to the poor, and so many other things – Simi’s heart sank deeper with every item she read. Why so tough?

She was at work but her mind was far away when her friend sent her an invite. It was a Valentine’s program at her church titled “Rethink Your Love”. “Which one is this again?”, she asked herself. Her friend called her up and they chatted for a while, Tomi was super excited about the program and that excitement was enough to compel her to attend. At the program, she learnt what marriage was all about and it totally changed her mentality. She learnt the reasons why she should get married and the right things to do before choosing a spouse.

Simi got home and sat down ruminating about what she had heard in church that day. Her mother came to meet her and asked, “when are you starting the fasting program? I want to join you”. She looked at her and smiled. Simi knew her mum meant well but after what she had heard, indeed, people perish for a lack of knowledge. She told her mom that she wasn’t going to fast and in fact, wasn’t going to embark on the program at all.

At the stunned look on her mother’s face, she explained everything to her and gave her reasons why the exercise would be one in futility. Simi was sure she was now empowered to face the next relationship and the starting point was to start loving God first and then herself and then to start reading as many books and materials as she could. She knew her pastor will play a role in her next relationship, however that role will be restricted to counselling and not the one of choosing a spouse for her.

She heaved a sigh of relief; with her new-found knowledge, life is going to be beautiful and she strongly believes that her relationships will get better. She wondered how many women have been in these same shoes and have gotten their fingers burnt.

Have you ever been in this situation? Or do you know someone who has been? How did you or they overcome? Please share with us in the comments section below.

Have a great #WomanWednesday!

2 thoughts on “Struggles In The Race To Say “I Do””

  1. Adewale Adeyemi

    Really beautiful and interesting story that I somehow can relate to even though I am a guy.
    Can’t remember how many times my mom took me to these so called spiritual people to see what my future holds and how they use that as a means to start confusing my life… “Don’t share boiled egg with another person”, “Don’t bath in the open”, “Don’t let someone else touch your head” even up to the ridiculous “Your future wife will be the one to ask to marry you”.
    I stopped believing them all when they started making ridiculous predictions I knew where never ever going to happen to me.
    Knowledge of the truth really does empower.

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