Fear is like a magnet that attracts people who love to prey on the weak. The lie that ‘we attract what we deserve’ may not always be true. Fear is the master of depression & it kills your confidence. Fear tells you ‘you are not good enough so SETTLE’. Because of fear, we settle for all manner of things that we would not dare but for fear.
There are 3 major fears:
- The fear of loneliness
- The fear of rejection
- The fear of incapability
Fear of loneliness makes us do unimaginable things like settling for a wrong spouse or trying to please a wrong friend.
Fear of rejection is a sting that goes deep inside & can cause severe depression, making one fall to the worst levels.
While fear of incapability drains belief in one’s self & makes one feel unworthy, it also turns one into a slave.
See, these fears are mind games that anyone who loves to prey on the weak may notice & exploit for sadistic purposes.
Our friend, Lati, fell victim to such mind games. She’s a strong-willed lady noted in class as the ‘most likely to succeed’. In her 20s, She had already surpassed her mates & made manager in a famous agency shortly after school.
Men flocked around Lati. They loved her because she was a strong willed, successful lady. She had one or two failed relationships, consequences of her unwillingness to commit and ambitious nature. She didn’t have much time for romance because she knew she was strong and too busy pursuing her ambitions.
By age 33, fear started to set in on her because her friends were all married, having babies and they were all happy. Though Lati loved playing with their kids, but it brought pains to her heart. She longed for romance and a family of her own.
Unfortunately, in the past 4 years, she’s not been able to keep a relationship. Her leadership style/attitude in the office impacted on her relationships. Lati tried to manage her relationships like her work, but she didn’t have a formula to make a relationship work.
At age 37, she felt the world was crumbling underneath her and she succumbed further to the mind games. Lati stopped going to friends’ parties. She also stopped attending open events at the office because she noticed she was the only unmarried person above age 30 at such events. This took a toll on her as her confidence continued to wane.
She also despised going to a lonely house, as such, she accepted any over-time job and whatsoever to stay late in the office. As her confidence waned, Lati’s leadership capability also took a hit and began to drop.
She took to social media for succor and to make friends, especially with single or divorced ladies.
Most of the ladies had no good story to tell about men or marriage, these made Lati feel she was not doing any wrong by being single and she basked in the lie that she did not want to get married.
In the midst of these ups and downs/mind games, Lati met Ify, a bossy man who treated her like she was a child. At this stage she seemed ready to take on anything in the form of a man.
When one lacks the right character/attitude, one is likely to attract the wrong crowd or things. Knowing where you stand with your maker helps you understand trying times and teaches you how to pass through such times without losing your confidence, hope or compromise.
Your stance with your maker can attract His light in your life which would reveal your faults and frailties and shows you how to stand firm. He can make His strength perfect in your weakness.
Everything that happens to you has happened to someone before you and is covered by the Word of God in the Bible. In other words, every pain you go through is not new and when you have the right people to talk things through with and share your pain, you will be able to withstand and overcome every temptation.
At WhiteOlive, we take you as you are, we have a listening ear and we are happy to share your pain. Visit us today or send us a note and we will pray with you, building a lasting, loving relationship with you because God loves you and we do too.
So get up, decide today to stop living the lie.