The Man Whisperer: Did You Make Him Who He Is?

“You are either going to beat me today or I beat you. Anyhow, one of us is going to leave this house today and never return”, spat Mama Jackson as she stormed into her son’s home. On seeing Annie, she hurriedly took off her scarf, tied it around her waist and reached out with both hands and fingers like talons at Annie. “We are going to do it the old fashioned way, Mrs!”.

Annie was shocked to see her mother in-law in such rage and a low show of character, this was a side she never knew but she was ready to defend herself. Mama J, as she was fondly called, was ready to ensure her son’s happiness was restored as she landed Annie a good slap before Annie could put up a defense. What happened next was a twist in the tale as Annie, after receiving the resounding slap that rang in her ears, fell on her knees and started begging her mother in-law. “Mama, what have I done to annoy you? Please forgive me, I am sorry, I promise never to do it again, please mama”, she wept, still oblivious of the reason for the wrath of Mama J on her.

Unable to respond to such an act of humility, Mama J walked out on Annie, in search of her son. She didn’t see her son but she met Tina, her 15-year old granddaughter. Tina ran into her room at the sight of her grannie, begging not to be slapped too. This touched Mama J and made her console the child who was obviously frightened of her. She took the child in her arms, reassuring her that she was ok. As they talked, Tina became emboldened and asked her grannie what her mum did wrong to warrant such physical attack.

Mama J explained to Tina how her son had called her to report his wife, complaining about her ill character. He suspected she was cheating and covering up with church activities. He had confronted her so many times but she refused to change. Tina wasn’t surprised and she explained the situation at home to her grannie. “Mum is always in church, she’s a worker and volunteered on 4 different posts”. “This has made daddy mad several times as she even forgets to pick me up from school and most times, forgets to make meals for us. She also denies dad some romance”.

“Daddy on the other hand has not been understanding. He nags at mum a lot and has slapped her so many times just like you did today. They fight so often nowadays, I wonder if they love each other anymore. One day, dad told mummy that he would take me away from her if she didn’t change. He said that you did it to his dad when he refused to stop misbehaving and that divorce was no new thing in our home”.

Mama J was shocked at this news. She saw her reflection on her son’s character as her granddaughter told her the story. It’s no joke that the Bible says “He who finds a good wife has found a good thing”, as women can make a home the happiest or saddest. We are great influences on our husbands and sons that is why a chapter was devoted to explain a good wife (Prov 31). No matter how hard-hearted a man is, he listens to his mother and wife because he trusts their judgement.

This is why we ought to be of good character so that we influence our sons to be great men and our husbands, great providers. It is important that we learn to humble ourselves before our husbands as our children learn from us. A good wife makes good daughters and respectful sons. Her children are loved by all and her husband looks up to her for advice, comfort and love.

Let’s join hands and make this vow to be good influences on our men; Pray for wisdom when threatened and act with love when needed. It’s international Women’s Day tomorrow! Press for progress in every area of your life and your influence on your community… Have a great celebration!

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