They always leave tell-tale signs but we always choose to ignore it. I saw the signs, in short, I saw the reality, not just a sign, but I told myself that it was not what it seemed and I should stop being suspicious. That thought, at that moment, benefitted me even though I knew at the long run it was the wrong thought.
Oh how much he revealed. Oh, how much I chose to ignore. Even when I caught him; It was around 4:30 am. I woke up and noticed he wasn’t in bed, we were at his house and I noticed he had a 3 am routine; he got up and went to another room. According to him, it was to work but that day was a weekend and it was unusual for me to wake up so early but somehow, I did.
I woke up and noticed he wasn’t in bed. I sat up for a few minutes thinking about what to do and what to make of his 3am routine. I had asked him before and he told me it was work with his foreign clients and I sort of believed him even when my mind told me it was a comfortable lie.
So I was kinda shocked he was taking a business call on a weekend. After contemplating for a while, I got up and decided to look for him and find out first-hand what the late night calls were for and hoping it was not a boo** call.
So I went searching for him in every room till I heard his voice from his studio, where he also smoked, I did not go there cause I hated the smell of cigarette and he knew it.
Right at the door, I heard him giggling and blowing kisses. Now, that startled me and my mind raced; should I go in or not? Given he had told me he was through with his fiancé, I didn’t know what to think.
Then I heard it. Him professing love for her and their unborn child, how he was going to dote on them and give them all they needed. It was too much for me so I stomped away to the room crying. He came and met me crying apparently, he heard me run. Then the lies started rolling off his tongue…
“It is my fiancé, you know my parents got us hooked and I thought sleeping with her could make me like her but I found out we had no chemistry, apparently she is a lesbian (new lie). Unfortunately, she got pregnant and now she is trying to emotionally blackmail me with the baby. She told me she will kill herself if I leave her so I am pretending to love her so she can have my baby. I am so sorry love if I hurt you.”
Yeah, it was a cheap lie but I chose to believe him. I had emotionally invested myself in this relationship and I was not ready to let go. Side chicks have become wives, you know and I, was going to be another living proof… so many lies I told myself. I tried to believe the lies but it all went blink the next day when he proposed.
Before I jump to the proposal, let me tell you about other tell-tale signs. One, I was not allowed in his house. Why? He said because of the arrangey but after a while, I was allowed (obviously the coast was clear). He didn’t want his family knowing and hating me for him not loving their ‘preferred in-law’ so I obliged, even when my mind told me it was a blatant lie from the pits of hell.
The next sign was a picture of his fiancé and him on his laptop. He kept telling me there was a virus and he could not take her off his laptop. Let me not even share when I found her in his wallet. That day, I fought him, but 2 days later, after all his sweet talk and gifts, I forgave him. Mind you, her pictures were all over his house though some were turned facing down but they never left their spot.
Now to the proposal: Kai, guys are heartless sha, some of them, that is. Forget if I am the mumu but imagine, he took me out with his friends after the stint with his brother and proposed to me in front of them. However without a ring, as he said he forgot to get one. Then a friend of his offered a ring and Tade used that to properly propose. They were all still laughing but yeah, I thought it was a happy laugh. I did not know that the laughter was on me. Even when his bestie tried to kiss me and made that statement, it was a wakeup call but omo, this babe refused to wake up!
Now, looking back, I noticed that when we attended his family events, we never sat on the family table but far away from most of them and then, he would leave me and go and greet his ‘family’. When we went to mine, he was always reluctant to reveal who he was and where he worked. He never liked to meet them and always pretended not to remember who they were.
I had seen the signs o, him walking away any time an international call came in and preventing us from time in his house, secrets and lies and so much more.
Babe, side chick nor dey pay! Let’s stop deceiving ourselves and avoid the heartaches.
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Have a great #WomanWednesday ladies!