The Walk Of Shame

I loved being a side chick. I remember Tade telling me how much he was happy having me in his life. His main chick was an ‘arrangey’. His parents and her parents had been friends for a long time and when they noticed their children were not getting married, so they set them up to be married. However, they both could not tolerate themselves.

So I was a blessing in disguise (according to Tade). If only I had come earlier, he won’t have been in this mess. To prove to me he loved me and not her, he took me to all his social events: Weekday hangout with the colleagues, football night with the boys, and even Sunday church with one or two of his siblings.

We even went to Dubai one summer like that and I swear he almost proposed to me but instead, he broke down crying, telling me how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and how he was making plans to break up with his main chick. Babes, I was so happy that I almost ensured I carried his baby before returning to Naija with him. We did this funny ‘side chick’ business for two full years then one day, he came home and announced the good news. He had left the main chick. Super excited, I took us out for the night. For the first time, we slept in his place. We talked about our life together, the children we’d have and where we’d live.

The next day, I called my girls and told them of my elevation to the main chick. We celebrated, popping one really good nonalcoholic drink (did you expect me to say alcoholic? Na, I like myself). Not long, I started leaving my things in Tade’s house and spending more time there. We went to his family engagements together and mine too.

One thing though, I noticed his younger brother was cold to me and kept a distance even when he lived with Tade and saw me often. When I told Tade this, he shoved it away saying he “was a small boy, what does he know in matters of the heart?” When I probed further, Tade explained that the brother likes his ex, that is, the former main chick, hence his coldness towards me.

I made myself a promise to be nice to his brother and win his favour. However, no matter how much I tried, the young chap grew colder. Then one day, he told me to “get my own man and stop fooling around with another woman’s man”. I was so broken, I ran out of the house to my apartment for that day. Tade came to mine and begged me to return to his as he had to make a long trip and needed me to be around to take care of his place when he wasn’t around.

I told him I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to be left alone with his brother. He told me he understood and begged me to forgive his brother. We then went out to the club with his friends to patch up and I got what seemed like the best surprise gift of my life. At about 2 am when we were about to leave, the DJ changed the song to one of my favourite songs by 2baba, African Queen. Tade asked me for a dance and we started dancing. Right before my eyes, Tade went down on his knees and proposed to me. I felt like the ground should open up and swallow me as I was embarrassed yet so happy. I said yes and like play, we were engaged!

His friends looked shocked but they celebrated with us anyway.

Then the insults started again. That night, while Tade was trying to settle the bill with another friend of theirs, his bestie, Oke, came up to me and tried to kiss me. I stopped him by pushing him away, thinking he was drunk but he snapped and said… ‘why are you pushing me away, is it cause I am single?’. His statement was surprising but I was too happy with my ring to care about his drunkenness. Given the fact that I was now Tade’s fiancé, I agreed to go back to his apartment and stay. Now his brother has no say in our relationship. He will have to accept me or get out.

Three days later, Tade travelled and I was left alone in his apartment with his younger brother Bode. Bode kept away from me for days until one night, he was watching a match and I badly wanted to watch a Telemundo movie. I tried to talk him into allowing me change the channel but he ignored me.

Out of anger, I stood in front of him, telling him how he had to accept the fact that I and his brother are in love and getting married but all he did was laugh. He looked at me and told me he felt sorry for me and that, for my own good, I should throw the fake ring Tade gave me and move to my apartment before Tade’s wife finds out that his brother’s mistress was now camping in her matrimonial home.
He went further to shock me by saying that he wasn’t Tade’s brother but brother–in–law. That the shameless Tade had travelled to visit his wife who just had their baby after 3 years of trying. His sister was based in the US due to the fact she was trying to conceive and now that she has, he is sure she will be returning back home soon.

I tried not to believe him as hot tears ran down my cheeks but the words from Tade’s bestie kept ringing in my ears. Now I know why we are called the side chick, it is because tears run down the sides of our cheeks and cry, is what side chicks do most for trying to step into another woman’s stilettoes.

The scales had fallen off my eyes: Join me next week as I share the signs, the lies and the insultive social network of those who won’t tell you to your face to find your own man but snicker behind you and call you names.

Have you been or are you presently a side chick and need someone to talk to? Then send us a mail and we will help you get past this nojudgement@whiteolive.com

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