The Window, Not The Mirror 1

Why can’t you be like our neighbour? John bought his wife a Prado last week, he also surprised her with the latest iPhone, common latest tecno you have not bought for me. These words haunt my thoughts as I lay next to my friend’s bruised and battered body. All I had seen over the years were the good things, the material things. I failed to take a closer look …She was in pain I could see, but I was also in such pain that no one could see. I was an emotional wreck. I felt stupid, I used my eyes and mouth to ruin my marriage.

Tobi had pleaded with me to be patient with him. That things would get better soon, but I didn’t listen. “When?” I used to ask him. “When I’m dead abi?” I would add with a lot of drama. Four months ago, I had it as far as I thought I reasonably could with him. He came home sober. He had lost his job and I was so mad that instead of getting the promotion he talked about, he got fired..

“How could you, Tobi? You can’t even keep your job, how will you now keep a family? All you think about is your self, now look what you’ve done? I just can’t take this anymore” I ranted. He pleaded with me but I wouldn’t listen. I was tired of the struggle. I was tired of not being able to travel to Ghana just around the corner for a holiday. I was tired of Tobi. I mean look at how John spoils Bibi with gifts and stuff. They travel out of the country at least twice in a year. Dubai was like their backyard.

Bibi was the happiest, luckiest woman in Nigeria, or so I thought. Hmmm, if only I knew what I know now. Maybe I wouldn’t have walked out on my husband Tobi. Yes, that day Tobi lost his job, I moved out. I wanted what Bibi had. A rich husband who would buy me beautiful things and fly me to any country of my pleasure.

I mean, a husband who would give me a holiday. I deserve a better deal than Tobi’s offering … “You deserve a slap”, Bibi said, since I wanted a man like her husband. Yes, a slap, as John didn’t only spoil her with gifts, he spoilt her with hot slaps and brutal abuse too. He abused her at every opportunity he had and she’s been living in fear. Bibi told me about how she lost their baby. The miscarriage she had, a result of John pummeling her. Prior to my visit to their home that morning, he had slapped her around like he usually does.

It’s been four months now. Tobi got a new job with a multinational, a senior role, higher pay and a Prado as his official car. I need my husband back. You will say I am a silly wife and I agree. That I am materialistic, I accept, but right now please, help me. I have wronged my husband and don’t know how to make amends, can someone tell me how?

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