When Sisters Fight: Fighting The Good Fight

I was taught by my Mom that one should never use hurtful words when fighting with anyone especially with the people we love because we can’t take them back afterwards.

“Over my dead body will I ever step foot into your house again. You are an apology, a failure, nothing good can ever come out of you, f**l”. Gwen spat as she walked out on a stunned Omo. Omo could not understand how their argument escalated so quickly to such hateful words.

She sat back on a sofa in her living room and looked all around before she broke down in tears. The words ‘Failure’, ‘f**l’, ‘good for nothing’ all rang loud in her ears. She could not understand how not being able to buy her best friend’s late grandma’s burial Aso Ebi resulted in such hateful name calling.

Gwen’s grandma had died over a month ago but the burial was just about to take place. Gwen had told Omo in advance about the Aso Ebi and how she, Gwen, wanted to ‘represent fully’ at the burial. She wanted to have an entourage of all her friends, especially her best friend Omo, who was to wear the same expensive lace as Gwen would wear, only in a different colour.

Omo had explained to her then that she could not afford the Aso Ebi and that she would prefer to buy the general Ankara but Gwen vehemently refused; she said that her best friend – Omo – MUST put on the same attire with her or not come for the occasion at all. She also called Omo selfish and greedy at that time but Omo ignored as she understood her friend to be a bit petty at times but today was a different story.

Omo recalled how she tried to borrow the money from a colleague at work and how her colleague advised her not to borrow money for a dress she might never get to wear again based on the fact that Omo hardly wore native wear. Omo took her advice as a good one as it didn’t make sense to loan money to buy Aso Ebi for a non-relative and not a direct parent of her bestie.

She tried to explain to her bestie that she could not afford the cost as it was almost a quarter of her monthly pay and a bad financial decision. Instead of understanding, Gwen flipped and started to call her names, reminding her of past financial obligations Omo had failed with and Gwen had helped her out on.

Omo tried to explain again to Gwen. “Please dear, consider that I am not as financially buoyant as you are and I appreciate our friendship so much. If it was your wedding or your mom or dad’s burial (God forbid), I would do anything for you! But this is your grandma and you didn’t even like your grannie in the first place.”

That statement blew Gwen away and the name calling stated. Omo had never experienced such harsh words come out of Gwen’s mouth before towards her. Yes, she had seen Gwen insult other people before, even insult her grannie and she had advised her not to use such harsh words so it was not too much of a surprise. What got to her were the hateful words which were untrue and uncalled for.

‘How can my bestie insult me like that because of Aso Ebi?’ Omo could not understand and made up her mind that they were never friends in the first place for Gwen to call her such names.

Omo got up, wiped off her tears, picked up her phone and blocked all Gwen’s numbers on her handset then went on to delete all numbers, pictures, chats, messages e.t.c.
She wanted to rid herself from the girl she once called her #BFF for life.

Let’s look at some Bible verses to see who is right and who is wrong:

Matthew 5:22 – “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

Ephesians 4: 29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen”

Ephesians 4: 31 – “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”

Proverbs 19:11 – “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offence”

What do you think will happen now to 18 years of friendship, based on the reaction of both ladies? Do share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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