Almost every reason they gave you NOT to have sex is a BIG FAT LIE. At least 65% of the time the girl won’t get pregnant, you won’t get an STD and it most likely won’t destroy your future. There are many successful Christian people in their 40’s and 50’s who had premarital sex. It’s unfortunate that the church attempts to curb immorality by telling the same old ghost stories that will only work on those naive enough to believe in a Bogeyman. The truth is you shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage, but there are consistent and legitimate reasons not to do so. Let’s yarn.

“That boy will just rubbish your life.” That’s what Apostle says. But he seems to think that you’re doing it because of the boy when in fact you’re doing it for you. In fact, it’s the boy that needs deliverance from you. Or “You will just get that girl pregnant and ruin your life.” How, when you use protection appropriately and can have her take the ‘morning-after’ pill?

It’s easy not to do drugs, because most people that do, go crazy. Or steal, because jail happens. But when it comes to sex it seems only worst case scenarios are deterrents, a case of 1 out of 10, and considering the apparent rewards, you think you can risk those odds. But there’s a much more down to earth reason not to have extramarital sex. And we’ll start there, before climbing up to heaven.

For Your Own Sake.

Do you know two things Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby have in common? They both fulfilled their purpose in life, and now can’t enjoy it because of ‘allegations’ of illegitimate sex. You might wonder how that relates to you. Maybe you only sleep with your girlfriend. Well,  it’s much easier to cheat on your girlfriend than your wife. If you do, that’s more sex. The more sex you have the more you want it. The more you want it the more boring it gets. You start to crave variety, and it is in that variety that the lines get blurred. It isn’t enough to have a girl that gives her consent. No you want to feel the rush of power, when you bend her to your will. Before you know it you get to that place of authority like David, and because you haven’t built up the moral stamina to resist, you take for yourself a less than willing Bathsheba. One Bathsheba becomes two and then ten and then a #MeToo scandal is on your hands. And for a man in the position you will be in the next 20 years, scandal can ruin you. Sex will not stop you from being successful, but it can lead you to actions that ensure you loose it all. As Christian rapper KB says ‘Drifting… Nobody wakes up addicted. Every great fall is from a hundred bad decisions”.

And what if you’re a woman?  #MeToo still applies. You think you’re in control. You’re the one with the power. It’s your body, he can see but he can’t touch unless you want him to. The signals you send off are ‘maybe’ not ‘no’.  But to a Harvey that maybe is a bona-fide “yes”. And before you know it, you’re  violated. Because when you get comfortable around fire thinking you’ve mastered it, that’s when you’re most likely to get burned.  Imagine if Michelle Obama was considered a loose girl by other students in high school , it wouldn’t matter if her husband runs the world. She’d always be considered as such.

So folks this is about stamina. It’s about staying so far away from the line,  that it will be almost impossible to cross it. Whatever that line is to you: rape, adultery, sexploitation. You may look at sex as tame, not as bad as some of the wilder sexual stuff this generation gets into, but there’s a line before all that ‘wilder stuff’s and that line is premarital sex. That’s not to say that person’s who were celibate can’t fall into the same trap, it’s just so much easier to stay away from Lekki if you live in Ikeja and not Surulere.

So what I’m telling you now is even though you see through the scare tactics the church tries to use to keep you a virgin, you can stay celibate for very real reasons. It’s not an overly spiritual thing, but you even have a Holy Spirit on your side, so if monks can do it, so can you.

Don’t let people who don’t do enough convince you that you’re doing too much. Word to Bizzle. You know what your friends and colleagues get into. You’re still PG13 compared to their Rated R.SLV. But really what’s your standard?

Plus there’s God. God’s the wisest entity there is. If He says it’s bad, it’s bad. I know no one has ever fully explained the ‘soul tie’ thing to you and you seem to have no idea how it works (like do you guys become psychic and read each others minds?)  But if God says it is real, it’s real. And you don’t want to hurt Gods feelings do you?  Because you know the devil will use it as emotional blackmail. He will say you’re taking God’s grace for granted and don’t deserve it. Before you know it, you’ll deny your faith in Christ, and that’s it, hell fire not because of sexual immorality, but because the guilt of sexual immorality led you to stop believing in Christ’s forgiveness- that you don’t deserve it, what the Bible calls the greatest pride.

And yes folks. It’s possible that the girl will get pregnant, it’s possible you’ll get HIV, it’s possible that boy turns out to be a psycho and kills you, but it’s also possible that trekking under the sun will give you cancer. So if you can’t find any relateable reason not to have sex,  simply consider that a future version of you will one day be in a position of power and influence and the last thing you need – is to be vulnerable. Help that future you out and start building your moral muscles today. And even at that, never forget that you need total dependence on God, to live an extraordinary life.

And if by now you’re saying. Okay fine, but I already screwed up, can I still be a King after Bathsheba? The answer is a wholehearted YES! People may never let you live it down though, even on your death bed they may try and tease you with a woman to see if you’re still alive. But as long as Gods over it and you’re over it, you’re good. The temptation may just prove a little harder, and when it does remember that God who gave you life, and who will give you a husband/wife, can give you what your soul truly desires (His extremely satisfying love) if only you ask.

4 thoughts on “XOXOXO”

  1. So if you can’t find any relateable reason not to have sex, simply consider that a future version of you will one day be in a position of power and influence and the last thing you need – is to be vulnerable. Interesting

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